This is about the time of year I start planning next year’s Christmas gifts -- because I sure didn’t have time to finish the ones for this year.
This is a time of contrasts: Some things, I can do; other things, I can’t. Peace is in knowing the difference -- I keep having to learn that lesson. Some years I look at how much money I spend and how much effort I make, see how little joy it brings, and wonder what the point is. There is a balance between the effort I make and what I see in response. When the season feels like a competition, there’s something not quite right.
The last time I went to a Christmas Eve service, it seemed like only a handful of folks in a full church were singing out loud. I felt embarrassed to be one of them -- but what is the point of mumbling through “Joy to the World”? It is going to be a while before I have the energy to try that again.
And then, I am lucky to have a friend who still bakes and gives cookies for the season -- even through the economic hardships going on in her life.
I listened to some music yesterday: a CD made by the music group at my old school. It brought tears to my eyes as my heart felt back home for a minute. Then I remember that it’s not about what I do, it’s about why I do it. If I spend all my energy paying attention to all the stuff going on around me, I cannot possibly know why I am doing anything. So this is a time to cut back: Don’t do what I cannot afford to do. Don’t do things I don’t understand why I am doing it. Appreciate what I have. And share.
That sharing is in the socks for my sweetie. He will get them just a little late, but that’s ok.